I have trouble self editing when it comes to making. I have more ideas than I have hours in the day. I know that this problem of time is not unique to me. I do my best to prioritize, but I find that I am tempted to cram as many ideas into one project as I can in order to try everything. Creative chaos ensues. Unnecessary business in which each idea ends up being consumed by the mess of the whole. I’ve struggled with this my entire creative life. In college I got really into the idea of using men's neckties. Now, I still hold to the idea that something nice could come from this idea, but I was never successful. And man, I’ve got the proof. My niece recently reminded me of the endeavor when she proudly held up a purse that I had made years ago. It was a little handbag with a striped polyester tie used as the handle, wrapped around to create an outer pocket. I was equally parts delighted and mortified. She was really pleased to have it; I was embarrassed to have made it. Thankfully the attempt at a tie skirt isn’t still around. It was so heavy that suspenders were practically needed to hold it up.

Yet, for all of the ugliness, lessons have been learned. Sometimes a bad idea isn’t apparent until it has had a chance to live. I also try to keep in mind how one’s taste changes over time and I try to be careful not to judge my past taste too harshly. Over the years my ascetic has simplified. It briefly became very “greige”. I love the white and grey aesthetic that is so common these days. Neutral tones as a way of life. But I love it for other people, not myself. Color always ends up slipping in for me. In college I dressed like a gypsy. I could have won a competition based on how many flowing layers of mixed patterns I could wear at one time. In all honesty I still yearn a bit for the style of my early twenties, particularly my crushed velvet jacket, but the practicalities of life keep me from it. I’ve now settled somewhere in between utility and function and organized clutter and I’m pretty happy there.

Design ideas come in while the ghosts of makes past linger behind me. I try to not be frightened by either of them. The fine line between interesting and timeless is the goal. I’ve missed the goal more times than not. Just because you can make something doesn’t mean you should and just because an idea might not work doesn’t mean that you shouldn't try. Contradictory ideas and a good design waits somewhere within. All of this being said, I’m done with ties and have learned that an intense overshot pattern can be lost when done with a colorful variegated yarn. Onward. I’ve got my red pen at the ready. Hopefully it won’t run dry too quickly and I won't loose it in the mess.